Someone died last night

A 14 year old girl died last night
Her name is Andrea
She died in the hospital
She was in recovery
Her mother was in Germany at the time
Her father is dead.
Pretty sure she died of heart failure.

I know all this because she was tweeting at the time. @xAnaismybff

She blacked out, so her doctors knew she was sick again
So they put her in the hospital and told her to gain 38 pounds.
She refused
Ran away
Almost died on the streets from self-inflicted wounds.

They brought her back.
But she died. That night. Last night.

This whole thing is disturbing to me on so many levels.
Not just because a 14 year old girl died...but if that doesn't break your heart, I don't know what would.
What I also find disturbing, is that even though it does break my heart - I'm a little jealous of how thin she got.
She had a bmi of 12.3

I'm sick. I'm sick. I'm sick.

It makes me so angry that I could even think like that. If I ever doubted that I really am f*cked in the head, I know it now.

And I'm sorry, for making you read those thoughts of mine.
That was a child
and she deserved to live
She deserved to grow up and have a family and be successful at whatever she wanted.

What's more, her friend lost 4 friends to anorexia this year.

and it's only a few days to Christmas.

Let your thoughts be with her family and friends. Especially friends, really. I didn't know this girl at all, but I'm concerned for girls who may be as disordered as she was. Girls she knew from the hospital.

I know this sort of thing happens a lot.
It's still a tragedy
A serious tragedy

I don't even know what it takes to bring someone that far gone to recovery. Is it really just waiting for them to die? How do you make someone want to be well? I don't think you can, but that makes me so angry.

I'm sorry...

I'm gonna go.