Thursday, August 13, 2009

Today at the subway station I ran into my old friend. The friend I mentioned in This Post, actually. I was shocked, this is someone I haven't seen in aaaages. We only spoke for a moment. I wrote my number on communist literature and gave it to him, I hope he calls. I'd have gotten his, but he said they broke it in prison. So I hope wherever he's staying he's got a phone to use.

I know it might be hard to relate to, but I hugged him like four times. I'd been worried. I didn't say anything about my knowing what he was in prison for. I'm just glad he got out...and I hope I can talk to him about it if/when he ever calls. It was so weird seeing him. You know that weird feeling about seeing someone you went to school with, and it's like...whoa, you look different. At fourteen, he was shorter than me, now he's got like a foot on me o_0 But he still seemed sweet, harmless, huggable. He still called me his best friend.

God, I don't even know.

It was shocking! I'm glad he's not in prison for the next five years, though. I hope I can see him when I'm more composed and not totally..."Holy crap, it's you!"

Anyways, I'm feeling pretty optimistic today. I saw a job in the paper for a job at an on campus coffee chain...and even if I don't get that, the same chain is on the corner of the nearest major street so I could apply to 2 places extremely convenient to me. I plan on getting an application online tomorrow, I can turn it in twice.

The only problem is that it involves talking to people. It might be good for me. and maybe I'll develop a taste for coffee.

I've got virtually no appetite lately. It's probably a cycle thing, but I'm enjoying it. My waist was less than 26" this morning. That was nice.

I've been thinking lately about how I wanted a job at a retail store, and it occurs to me that there's a good chance I wouldn't get hired because of my bad skin. Which is sad. and I'd never be able to prove that's why they weren't hiring me. I suppose the same could be said of the coffee chain...but we'll see, won't we?

a random couple pieces of thinspo:

This was one of the first pieces of thinspo I saw that actually felt motivating. I have a similar picture of me, except I'm 150lbs. I want to take one when I get to 125...whenever the hell that's going to be. Then I can can compare.

I don't necessarily think she's perfect, but it's a really cute pic anyway, and she's a lot closer to perfect than I am.

Oooh, I should plug the site I got them from.

Join! Upload your collections! It's goooood!

and I've got some good thoughts going for my next blog.. so when I've got them together I'll post them. Maybe even tomorrow. It might end up being a rant about the societal expectations of body image. Sounds like shit you've heard before, but I'm going somewhere with this. lol


  1. Ah … your old friend. I think it’s really good that you didn’t judge him as soon as you saw him and give him a chance to talk to you. Explain himself. It isn’t quite that hard to relate to, though. Because the way you described him when you were kids … I just hope things turn out to be not that … weird or bad. That even if he did it he regrets it. And that there were circumstances …
    Working in a coffee chain is funny :D I worked at Costa Coffee, too, and now I am an addict!!!
    Have fun there :)

  2. I need to join that site.

    I love randomly meeting friends. I love that most of them don't RECOGNIZE me until after I tell them who I am. It's sort of a wonderful feeling. Mostly because I've changed (not really my weight so much. That's always fluctuated, sadly).

    I have a friend who has a really bad skin condition, and has for a while, but she's managed to get good jobs. I think part of it is how you carry yourself. If you appear really insecure about it, people will make a bigger deal out of it. But...that's easy to say when you're there, I guess?

    Good luck with the job. Have you ever thought about doing a side thing with KGB?

  3. 2nd picture is totally cute :)

    1st picture reminds me of me every single day except I only WISH it were the body that was in mirror. I haven't had the courage to actually take a picture of my body, I get to grossed out. :(