Thursday, December 31, 2009

A few new years resolutions

This is the image I want to represent my personality in the new year.

I will be below my lw, 126
I will have more pictures of myself
I will make a new friend
and catch up with an old friend
I will cut my hair
I will dutifully take my multivitamin
I will develop a taste for tea
I will use the school's gym.
I will walk more, even in the snow
I will be stronger, more organized, and powerful
I will make my grades reflect this.
I will make myself do things I don't want to do
I will be more independent.
I will get a job
I will not be the weak pathetic dependent useless damsel in distress I've been my entire life.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Fiber, Fail, and Facebook creeps.

Thinspo from a xanga friend. I really love her blog. I recommend making a xanga account, just to peep. Blogger is better for support, but xanga is better for thinspo. I subscribe to a few really good ones.

So I got all my grades. 3 Cs, 3 Bs. :D Best semester I've far! Spectacular. I really felt like I wasn't doing so well, but the curve is a god. lol

Went shopping after Christmas. Spent like $125. Which is a lot. At least for poor little me.

You know, my ten pound goal isn't working out. I've lost...maybe 2. Just another of many disappointments I cause myself. I really can't fast. I just try to eat sparingly, but frequently enough to not have to worry about my metabolism. Fruit is really good for that... we had clementines, those are choice. I ate the wedges like potato chips, but guiltlessly. I'm trying not to count calories, but I wonder how many of those you have to eat before you have to worry. lol. I think I remember the whole clementine being 20 calories.

My mother brought wheat germ into the house. You can add it to anything to add fiber and b vitamins. Actually, I've found it adds a lot of a filling feeling to whatever you add it to. My mother's been adding it to everything, and I think I might take on that habit. It adds a weird texture, but it's really beneficial.

Article on wheat germ, if you're considering it :)

Anyways. I'm sure my weight loss will speed up at the end of the holidays.
Until then, I just have to drink as much water as I can bear. And sleep better than I've been sleeping. By the way, it's almost 8am and I haven't been to bed yet >_> oops.

Well, technically I fell asleep for a couple hours. So I, well no, I have no excuse.

My stomach has gotten really soft. I don't do enough crunches. Seriously... It's gross. I keep grabbing at it. And my thighs too. It's repulsive.

Oh. And if anyone named Jason claiming to be an "ana trainer" talks to you, block him immediately. Write about it. Warn others. Post your conversation! Some creep contacted me on facebook. Got some information from friends on facebook that he's been asking girls for shots of themselves in underwear, he won't reveal his age, and he can show up in a bunch of places. He found another girl on yahoo. I think his name was Jason Dahly. His facebook pic was either old, or fake. His profile is private. He does not have an eating disorder. He's just a pervert. I hope he dies a horrible death. :) He unadded me the moment I became skeptical. Probably afraid I'd report him. He did get away before I could. I couldn't search for him on fb because his profile was private.

Facebook has a lot of problems with creeps. I have to wonder how many of the girls are really girls. -_- it's a shame.

It really pisses me off. These old asshole perverts go on facebook to get pictures of underage girls in their underwear. Completely disregarding the severity of the disorder, completely disrespecting everyone. This Jason guy is the absolute worst of them all so far. He seems...almost innocent at first. But never ever ever trust anyone who claims to be a "trainer" and never ever send anyone your pics.

In the fantasies of these dirty old men, we're just a bunch of lolitas who want to be sexy for them. Ignorant pigs.

Sorry for the rant. There are a ton of Anas on facebook, and it's a good place for friends. It's just such a fucked up problem to have. The thing is, I'm afraid to report these assholes because ana profiles are banned, as far as I know. I know false names are now banned. Name changes have to be approved ahead of time. I'm afraid reporting a creep would result in my own profile being deleted.

At this point, I'm so frustrated with the dirty old men and foreign guys asking for a wife (wtf?) that I think I might just *let* my profile get deleted, except that I have 642 friends, and that seems like a shame to waste. Ugh.


Okay. This is long enough :) Time to try to comment on the blogs of some of you gorgeous girls before I pass out on the couch ^_^

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Hello & thinspo

My goal: to lose ten pounds by New Years.

I'm sorry I haven't been writing. Finals. :/

I have a final tomorrow.
I'm not really prepared, but I don't think it will take much to get prepared.

I'm going to have to be careful. I don't want to make myself not-at-my-best mentally when I have an exam.

So tonight I'll have to eat healthy, I'll eat a healthy breakfast tomorrow.
Multivitamins every day.
Same deal for my next exam.
There are only two left, so it shouldn't throw me off too much.

Losing ten pounds will put me at around my low-weight. I don't exactly know where I stand because my scale tells me a different thing every day >_>

the highs are around 140 o_0 the lows around 135 -_-

My thinspo came from: a site I found that you all might like called
You can add a little bookmarklet to your browser, and you click it when you find an image you like.

It's really neat, don't know how it works. lol.