Saturday, June 27, 2009

Greif for Michael... an explanation for my apathy.

Sorry it's been a long time since my last post. I'm pretty much a wreck over Michael... He was seriously really important to me. His words were like a hug, when I had no one else. He was the most important person I never met. I can't understand how the world can keep turning without him. It's sincerely devastating.

I'm actually pretty surprised how well I seem to be taking it. I keep trying not to think about it - it's so weird. I think the collective good in the world has gone down.

I don't know if there are many Michael fans among my ana friends.

His strength was such an inspiration to me. He put up with so much bullshit. Over his skin, over those extortionist assholes trying to ruin him, over every little thing that happened when he walked out of his house. No wonder he was such a recluse.

He was the most famous person who ever lived. EVERYONE has an opinion. I could go on forever explaining every which way he's been abused throughout his life by the public, desperate for a glimpse into his personal life. I almost can't help it anymore, I always expect to have to defend him.

I'm going to go ahead and assume my readers are classy enough not to be cruel.

I don't know how to handle myself. It seems like when I try not to think about the fact that he's gone, I can be okay. Still, the world seems so empty now. I feel so alone.

There's nothing but Michael on my iPod right now. I have invincible, History, Blood on the Dance Floor, Bad, Thriller, Off The Wall, some songs from the box set, a Jackson's album what's name I can't remember, and a motown CD for some anniversary or another with some of little MJ's hits. Am I forgetting anything? I'm just bragging now.

I discovered him seven years ago, he's been my hero ever since.

Okay. I'm gonna get offline now... Sorry... I can't keep up with blogs lately. I'll try to catch up in a couple days.


  1. omg i know right i almost cried!!!!
    he was truly amazing.

  2. Yup I shed a tear or two. His songs remind me of a simpler time. And you're right he went through so much and always came out fighting.
    RIP MJ