Monday, June 15, 2009

...but I love LiLo

This weekend has been stuffed full of walking, and enough food for a normal healthy human being. I guess that's nothing to be ashamed of. I've at least been distracted from my failures. The only *really* awful thing I've eaten this weekend is a large strawberry triple thick milkshake from McDonald's. I drank most of it. There was a little help from my boyfriend. And eventually I just couldn't stomach the stuff. Yeah, I stuffed myself sick with all the wrong food. I won't get too far into the failure of that evening.

I've decided most of my poor choices are absent minded. I get myself food - and I eat until it's gone. I always have to finish what I start. It's...a poor choice.

Had a couple more unhappy moments with my boyfriend this weekend. He said something along the lines of having considered breaking up with me because he makes me miserable. I guess it could be interpreted that way. I wouldn't be able to function without him, though. But basically he was staring at this chicks boobs... yeah, that's how it goes. I caught him, he got mad, I started putting myself down. Every time I feel like I'm not perfect to him, I want to die. It sounds dramatic. It always passes. It's awful, though. I'm not even sure what happened. Sometime today he got all sweet again and said he'd never leave me.

I don't want him to leave me.

I don't even know what's going on.

Oh...and apparently I'm not getting financial aid.. I don't even want to think about that right now. It's totally out of the blue and if I can't appeal I'm getting a job. I guess I should get a job anyway. Thankfully I go to a relatively cheap school, though tuition is rising. :[

Anyways, I'm posting some thinspo because I feel like my posts have been weak lately.

Lohan looks amazing in those pics, doesn't she?? I *love* that girl.


  1. Just dropping by from twitter!

    The 4th picture is just blow-minding! totally inspiring!!!!

    The last one as well! (I'm getting one of those 500mg green tea pills for sure

    Take care! and though my BF has actually considered that breaking up with me may be the better thing to do since A) He considers himself kind of a social parasite compared to "other guys I could be with" B) I refuse to eat all that non healthy sh?? he insists me on having...

    But, you know what? Despite I deeply care about him and enjoy spending time together, if we eventually break up (hope not of course) I'll be happy to know I stay true to myself!

    Plus! at least I won't look like a freaking Free Willy (I'm still quite gross, don't get the wrong impression :( ...)

  2. Omg she's buying green tea!!!! Love it! lol :D

    Lohan is so beautiful - I love her hair

    Hope you're ok! xxx I'm sure your boyfriend loves you loads.

  3. You know...just because he looks? Doesn't mean he's going to leave. Or cheat. It also doesn't mean that he thinks you're less than.

    I should put up an entry explaining guys. Really. Being "like them", I get them. I've talked to them, and they've talked to me about this stuff, and I think girls need to realize this.

    Guys don't REALIZE they look. They're not looking because they're not happy with you. They're looking because they're alive, and breasts are...BREASTS. They're just THERE. And yes, if a girl is running around witha tight top or showing them off? Any living, breathing, straight guy will wind up at least sneaking a peak, if not ogling out right. And believe it or not, but big or small, your guy loves yours, because he gets to touch them.

    If you guys are sexually active, try whispering into his ear once while you're getting started, "All of this is yours. Only yours." It seriously appeals to a primal and possessive side, at least in most.

    And when you see him looking? Don't freak out, or yell at him. LOOK AT THEM TOO. make a joke about them being fake, or say saucily, "Should I be worried?" with a smile on your face and amusement in your voice, no matter how much it bugs you. Or even just say teasingly, "Honey, it's not POLITE to stare."
    Because he's not doing it because you're ugly. And if he can't comfort you, or make you see how HE sees you, then he's going to think he's not good enough for you and get tired, and that's when they think about leaving, because they're convinced they're making it worse. Just...know that he's not looking because you're less than, but because he's breathing, and he has a penis, and also he has eyes. Biology dictates that they will look.

    So long as he's not flirting? You're fine.

    And onto other things, like the shake?
    Holy shit dude. I broke and had a soda the other day. The guy I work with bought it for me. One of those SUPER big gulps that are like...over a gallon, I swear to god. I drank most of it, still.
    Then I found out? 744 calories.

    It's KILLER how many calories that sort of shit has.