I actually didn't eat an obscene amount today. I'm reluctant to say that though, because I tend to falter when I think I'm doing most well. Getting back to you girls makes me feel a lot better. I like being done with school; apart from the obvious reasons, I'm feeling free and motivated again. I feel like I'm going to lose weight again. Good. I want to have a bmi under twenty. That's my next goal, after I hit under 130 on the scale I mean.
I love my ana blog. It gives me structure, something I've always lacked in my life. Yes, I have a tendency to shirk responsibility like one would avoid the plague, but it makes me productive. I know what you're thinking...I should get a job. I keep thinking that more and more lately, too. My boyfriend wants to move out of his current apartment, but it's all he can afford right now. Granted, his female roommate is excellent thinspo, but you can see why I don't protest. All they share is the kitchen, but the girl eats...believe it or not.
I realized one of the reasons I love reading your blogs is because it makes me feel like I'm behind the scenes. It makes me feel like a human, relating to other humans. It sounds fairly obvious, but it's an odd, warming feeling to me. Humanity.
I tend to have this mindset, this cynical mindset that makes me feel like no one wants to be my friend. That there's something inherently unwanted about me that makes me unlikable. In fact, even hate-able. Seriously - When I close my eyes when someone walks by me in the hall, I have the sensation like they're going to punch me. Attack me in some way. My boyfriend is the only one that doesn't give me that feeling.
Anyways, I'm sure I'll end up seeing the star trek movie at some point. Which is awesome. My boyfriend's been making me watch the original series. One of you girls mentioned the New Uhura being total thinspo. I forgot who.. you can claim credit in the comments, lol. Anyways, I actually don't like it. That this Uhura is so skinny. I was really happy with the old Uhura being bigger than me. I like that she was a sex symbol for that. Times have changed, but there's such a difference between the two photos below...
It was comforting that she was considered attractive. Does anyone know what I mean? It makes me feel a little superior to a woman widely considered beautiful. I have nothing on the new Uhura. -_- My nerd boyfriend will leave me. Not really...but you understand the sentiment.
Anyways, I'll leave you with another picture some of you might appreciate, perhaps you've seen it before. I hadn't, but I don't really follow Nicole Richie.
Love it ? Combination Celebrity/Ballet thinspo. lol :)
Love you girls, you're amazing. Stay strong, stay beautiful.