Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Today I feel like even if I lost a lot of weight, I would still be a cow. A skinny cow mind you, but a cow none the less. Still unattractive, still ugly, still unhappy.
It's like... If I'm not biologically meant to be skinny, who am I fooling? I'll end up fat like my ancestral heritage insists I must.
I ate a lot today.
like 500 calories of that was in peanuts. I like peanuts. Thing about small things, though, is that you lose track of them so easily. So I estimated 3 servings. I hope it was less. It said a serving was about one sixteenth of the large bottle. I don't know, I think that's about right. 3 servings at about 160 calories each.
In any case, I'm not a skinny cow today, not a skinny cow tomorrow. Just a cow.
I'm discouraged. My weight has been constant for some time now. I'm not giving up though. Even if my goal is just to be a ...skinny cow.
Ugh it all seems so worthless
But what else IS there?