Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Skinny Cow


Today I feel like even if I lost a lot of weight, I would still be a cow. A skinny cow mind you, but a cow none the less. Still unattractive, still ugly, still unhappy.
It's like... If I'm not biologically meant to be skinny, who am I fooling? I'll end up fat like my ancestral heritage insists I must.
I ate a lot today.
like 500 calories of that was in peanuts. I like peanuts. Thing about small things, though, is that you lose track of them so easily. So I estimated 3 servings. I hope it was less. It said a serving was about one sixteenth of the large bottle. I don't know, I think that's about right. 3 servings at about 160 calories each.
In any case, I'm not a skinny cow today, not a skinny cow tomorrow. Just a cow.
I'm discouraged. My weight has been constant for some time now. I'm not giving up though. Even if my goal is just to be a ...skinny cow.
Ugh it all seems so worthless
But what else IS there?

5 comments:

  1. *sigh* I know what you mean. Today, after doing moderately well on my calories... I BAKED CUPCAKES!? wtf. While I was beating eggs like a 1950s homemaker, I start thinking "even if I reach my goals and become a twig, I'll just be a fat girl trapped in a skinny girl's body."

    I'm sorry you are discouraged. Plateaus are not fun! But hopefully your metabolism will kick up soon and push you out of the slump ;)

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  2. Loving you, Ana. Thank you so much for your lovely (and encouraging) comments. You're fantastic.

    PS-- Is it weird that I think its TOTALLY okay for people to look as bony as that cow, but TOTALLY NOT okay for a cow to look that bony? I think I like animals more than people.

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  3. Stay strong. It'll all come together. Don't lose sight and don't lose hope. You'll start losing soon enough. Happy thoughts! They say exercise is the best anti-depressant... X

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  4. omg i worry about the same thing like 24/7.
    i have this awful fear that im just 'big boned' or something and ill be all wide and large but with no fat and it scares me haha

    but i geuss well find out once we get there lol

    stay strong!

    XOXO Sophia Ruins <3

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  5. I'm a sucker for walnuts, almonds, and pecans >:[
    At least it isn't greasy, oily food!

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